How to protect yourself against toxic self-judgement “Feeling not good enough”

Why is this such a common issue? What is it in our culture that perpetuates this sense of people just not feeling good enough?

Our culture plays into social media. Social media is so powerful and selective. Social media gives a view that life should be these celebrations and great things are happening. If we feel all of these things are not happening in our own lives, that social process of comparison is intensified.

So, the phenomena of ‘not feeling good enough’ on a personal basis or in life, is amplified by constantly looking at others being so wonderful and successful.

Articles on social media often state it’s easy having a great relationship, being successful or making your dreams come true. ‘Just do these five things and your life will be perfect.’ This perpetuates the sense, I am not lovable, worthy, or good enough.

The human struggle to find a purpose, a sense of value, a sense of meaning is challenging to many of us. Social media exacerbates this idea through the articles and also in the narrow and selective narrative we get of other people’s lives.

We can help ourselves by the process of finding what really matters to us. What are your most precious values? Values are important so that your centre does not become the ins and outs of what other people think or what other people are doing. Instead, the centre becomes what is most important and meaningful for me.

The more we can have our walk match our talk, the more the sense of not being good enough will decrease. We will be able to help ourselves build a sense of integrity and feeling compassion that helps our lives and is not about external social comparison.

Bringing attention to what you share and being connected to your values when doing this is another way of increasing social wellbeing.

Veena Arora